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Writer's pictureJamie L. Hoff, CADC-II, SAP

Coping with guilt and shame. How do I begin to love myself as God loves me?

Updated: Dec 15, 2020



Psalm 139:13-14 New International Version (NIV)

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, or wrong, whether real or imagined.
Shame is the painful feeling arising from consciousness of something dishonorable or improper, done by oneself or another. Shame is feeling as if you yourself are bad or unlovable.
Feelings of guilt focus on the behavior while shame says that there is something wrong with me. Carrying around shame and guilt can lead to self sabotage and self destructive behavior, such as addiction, unhealthy relationships, compulsive sexual behaviors and more.
Where does the feeling of shame come from? Sometimes shame can come from experiencing trauma, the thought that you deserved something bad that happened to you or you somehow caused it. Sometimes shame can be from hurting someone else. Shame can also be from feeling like a failure.
How do you begin to overcome guilt and shame and stop the self sabotage cycle?

*Recognize that God wants you to love yourself as he loves you.

*Forgive yourself as God forgives you.

* Write yourself a letter of forgiveness.

*Remember that God created you for a reason and that you are special.

*Seek guidance from a Christian Counselor.


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